Funny things that happened today/this last weekend:
1. I was talking with our web designer about how anxious moving our desks at work is making me. The whole marketing department is going to the other end of the building, which I believe it because the other departments want to keep us quiet. Let’s call it “STFU island.” Anyway, we were discussing the island move today and I started itching my neck. He goes, “are you okay?” and i say, “I haven’t broke out in hives like this since the last time I tried on a wedding dress.” Speechless.
2. I was walking into the gym this afternoon with Darrell (my work husband) and there was a shorter elderly care bus there…..shit, i gotta wait for his response on this one because I lost it. Maybe I am the elderly one now. Have you see a picture of my age spots? I’ll send you one.
3. I am going on a date to a Twins game Wednesday night with this guy. When Dwight and Lynda were asking about him the other night at our cabin happy hour, Dwight suddenly goes, “is he good in bed?” and I go, “DAD! We aren’t going out on our first date until Wednesday” and mom chimes in with, “she’ll find out on Wednesday then” and then Dwight mumbles, “can you at least wait until Thursday?” — WTF. Who do they think I am? Aren’t these the same parents that tried to pimp me out to a mechanic for free service when I was in High School?! Yeah, so what if he was cute. Yeah, he might have been a great kisser. But, COME ON!
3a. I also told said date tonight that I have two ground rules: 1. no jail. 2. no running across the field. He told me that was a little broad, but he was okay with my rules. Then I said, “surprisingly, I’ve never had a first date that ended up with the guy going to jail. i would prefer to keep my record clean.” But just in case he still feels like jail, I reassured him that I would bring some extra cash. I am wondering if he regrets this whole first date thing…..Actually, I think he likes me more.
4. I found this picture on the internet today. I know how much you love cats. I am picturing you peeking over the front of the ship like this as pirates come and try and seize it. PEW PEW PEW!!!!
5. After dinner at mom and dad’s tonight I was in kitchen talking to mom. Dad yells in from the living room, “grab me a donut” and I yell back, “no, you’re a diabetic” him again, “grab me a donut or I’ll come in there and put ice cream on it.” What?! Is that a threat?
6. 15 min. later, Dwight, “run down and grab me a sprite.” I run down to garage and search for Sprite. Nada. I come up with 7up, “sorry, no sprite down there.” Dwight goes, “I knew that. I meant run down to cub foods.” RUFKM?!