Top 15 Facebook Pages for Couples/Relationships

A client of mine has been working hard at being mindful and on her relationship with her husband. She is too overwhelmed by books, but is an avid Facebook user. So, I put together a list for her of my favorite Facebook pages that are focused on marriages & couples. It’s important to check-in with your relationship daily. Be well.

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The New Therapist, The RAD (soon to be) step-mom, The Military Family Advocate, The HUMAN….

I am a recent Graduate of my Master’s program in Marriage and Family Therapy. Within the last year, I have grown exponentionally in my personal and professional life, and I thought I could share some of my growing pains/adventures with others.

I am passionate about Military mental health, and went back to receive my Master’s because of losing too many friends and family members to their battle with PTSD. The invisible wounds of war are not seen on a daily basis, but felt so deeply by those affected. It’s a ripple effect throughout the entire family system. I had been volunteering for the local Army chaper for awhile, but needed something more. I had been working in social media marketing for several years, and thought about becoming a consultant, or going back to get my MBA, but that just didn’t fee right. Back to my psychology roots I went, and I haven’t looked back.

While I was still working full time in Marketing, and going to school, I needed to start a Practicum (or intern) placement for 9-11 months to complete my degree. I tried to get in with the VA, but of course, unless you are on the Doctorate path, you are not welcome there for an internship. I was deflated. I knew that was my area of focus, but how do I do that in Minnesota – one of the very few states without an active military base? So, I went for a location that was not too far from home, was very focused on attachment (which I had just written a huge paper on), and felt like a good fit for me. However, the main clients were children, and I swore that I didn’t want to work with children. Ha (as I snort), funny how those things happen.

In the midst of all of this, I met an unbelievable guy, who also had an adopted son with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), which was also very prevalent in my client base. I stopped the quest for learning everything I could in a short period of time, and started to focus on things that would help me and my client base at that time. I was becoming burnt out, overwhelmed, and frustrated with the job switch. Technically, we would call that an Adjustment Disorder, but that is a whole different story. So, I started to focus on family therapy in the context of RAD work. From Facebook groups of other RAD parents, I soon realized that it was really hard for people to find RAD focused family therapists. Learning how to be a better therapist for my clients was also helping me be a better errr….step-parent to the 14 year old that was now living in my house.

I haven’t given up on my dream of focusing on military families, but am adapting as I go. I’ve always struggled with finding the perfect niche, but have found that the more I just roll with the changes, the more the Universe talks to me. So, here I am. I want to share my journey with other people dealing with the same struggles. I don’want to just focus on the military, or just focus on social media, or just focus on RAD, or just focus on being a new therapist – I want to just focus on the overcoming of the struggles. With that adversity, I know I can help other people. I hope you enjoy 🙂

Usually, the best way to find the yellow brick road of your life, Heather, is to start out on the dusty, dirt one.

And then let yourself become so preoccupied in making the best of it, having fun, and challenging yourself that you actually stop paying attention to the path.

Until, one day, not so long from now, with a new best friend, wearing cool clothes, feeling awesome, a teeny tiny bit taller, fresh from a WOW vacation, looking for the path you just left, you’ll notice that it’s 24 carats… baby.

And you’ll wonder for a long, long time, sipping on some exotic fruit drink, when the transformation actually took place…

The Universe

Usually, the be…

WWTD – Murse

Look who it the new face of our pop-up banners!!!!!


WWTD – July 29th

Funny things that happened today/this last weekend:

1. I was talking with our web designer about how anxious moving our desks at work is making me. The whole marketing department is going to the other end of the building, which I believe it because the other departments want to keep us quiet. Let’s call it “STFU island.” Anyway, we were discussing the island move today and I started itching my neck. He goes, “are you okay?” and i say, “I haven’t broke out in hives like this since the last time I tried on a wedding dress.” Speechless.

2. I was walking into the gym this afternoon with Darrell (my work husband) and there was a shorter elderly care bus there…..shit, i gotta wait for his response on this one because I lost it. Maybe I am the elderly one now. Have you see a picture of my age spots? I’ll send you one.

3. I am going on a date to a Twins game Wednesday night with this guy. When Dwight and Lynda were asking about him the other night at our cabin happy hour, Dwight suddenly goes, “is he good in bed?” and I go, “DAD! We aren’t going out on our first date until Wednesday” and mom chimes in with, “she’ll find out on Wednesday then” and then Dwight mumbles, “can you at least wait until Thursday?” — WTF. Who do they think I am? Aren’t these the same parents that tried to pimp me out to a mechanic for free service when I was in High School?! Yeah, so what if he was cute. Yeah, he might have been a great kisser. But, COME ON!

3a. I also told said date tonight that I have two ground rules: 1. no jail. 2. no running across the field. He told me that was a little broad, but he was okay with my rules. Then I said, “surprisingly, I’ve never had a first date that ended up with the guy going to jail. i would prefer to keep my record clean.” But just in case he still feels like jail, I reassured him that I would bring some extra cash. I am wondering if he regrets this whole first date thing…..Actually, I think he likes me more.

4. I found this picture on the internet today. I know how much you love cats. I am picturing you peeking over the front of the ship like this as pirates come and try and seize it. PEW PEW PEW!!!!


5. After dinner at mom and dad’s tonight I was in kitchen talking to mom. Dad yells in from the living room, “grab me a donut” and I yell back, “no, you’re a diabetic” him again, “grab me a donut or I’ll come in there and put ice cream on it.” What?! Is that a threat?

6. 15 min. later, Dwight, “run down and grab me a sprite.” I run down to garage and search for Sprite. Nada. I come up with 7up, “sorry, no sprite down there.” Dwight goes, “I knew that. I meant run down to cub foods.” RUFKM?!

WWTD…What Would Tony Do?!

My brother just got deployed last week. I was starting to write him out ridiculous things that happened during my day, but then I realized other people could benefit from the ridiculousness as well. So, thus blog posts. They might sometimes sound like they are directed to him. Hopefully others can find joy out of them as well….

When Tony (brother) was in basic my mom would get all worked up. I told her that Tony would not be very happy, and that I was going to make her a “WWTD” (what would Tony do) bracelet so that she always puts herself in check. This is an appropriate name for these series of blog posts.

Mobile Texting Etiquette – Park Nicollet Example

I am currently a patient at Park Nicollet Health Care Services. Just recently, I got a reminder text of an upcoming appointment. I never gave them permission to send me mobile reminders, and only share my cell phone because, like many others, it’s my primary number.

I sent a tweet out about it:


And they responded with the following two tweets:



Personally, I think that companies should never contact you via text unless you have agreed to it (in a signed agreement) or opted in yourself. Also, they never told me how to unsubscribe in the initial text, should that be assumed? Should we also assume that opt in is a default? In Wisconsin, texting someone without their consent is in the “no-call law” I am curious to know how other people feel about the subject, and look forward to thoughts about it.

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Bridging the Gap Between Military Families and Civilians via Social Media

I come from a full time job in social media and I am going to school to be a marriage and family therapist that specializes in military families, veterans and PTSD.

Lately I have seen a lot of things on social media and the military, and there are a lot of places out there for tools. The problem is lack of knowledge and communication.

I am going to try and bridge that gap for people. I believe that the tools I bring to the table could really benefit military families. There are thousands of places to find the information they need, but it is very confusing. Social media is a great outlet to share these things.

More to come,

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Why I Have Problems Blogging (but love it so much)

1. Fear of incorrect grammar.

2. Fear of incorrect facts.

3. Fear of pissing people off.

4. Fear of contradicting myself.

5. Fear or wanting to delete things later.

When kids are learning how to speak for the first time, adults are not supposed to correct them for fear of the kid picking up a stutter. When you have to think so hard before you say it, you often can’t say it at all. I am so particular about certain things, that I have fear that I will do them wrong. I don’t want to be a hypocrite.

But, I am taking the plunge. I am going to start blogging more. Very frequently, in fact/ I am not going to do it for other people. I am going to do it for me. It will help me grow as a writer, a communicator, as a therapist and as a person. So, there it is. Take what you want, dismiss what you want, and read at your own pace. I have a lot to say. Just because I may not always say it as eloquently as I plan, doesn’t mean it should be cut off. Passion, yeah!!!

Our Kids are Learning to be A$$holes Because of us

In most online situations, I like to keep my mouth shut. I give people the benefit of the doubt with posts, with comments, and often help them rely on the fact that it’s online and they wouldn’t do those things in person. I also like to stay focused on positive things, and arguments often are negative thoughts that I don’t like to let become things. However, I can’t handle it anymore. A few months back my friend Keith Privette reshared a picture from one of his Facebook friends. The picture was of a man in the crowd at a baseball game. The man was overweight with a jersey on. The friend of Keith’s had commented that the “player (who’s name was on the back) really let himself go.” Keith reshared this photo and called out the guy for being an adult bully. Commendable. Right?! I mean, I see that stuff all the time and don’t even think twice about it. But, Keith really opened my eye to this situation and it’s really time that people start putting their foot down.

So today, an old co-worker of mine posted a picture on Facebook. Same situation. Here is a screen shot:


I couldn’t let it happen anymore. Seriously, we are MEAN to other people. I know it’s the internet and it’s just the circle of friends we have who sees this, but it’s becoming an epidemic. We are teaching our future generation that it is okay to post pictures of other people and say mean things about them.

I don’t want it to be okay. I don’t want people to stop (or cease) commenting on things like this for fear of losing friends. Sure, immediately following this I was defriended by the person. I usually take this stuff personally, but I am done. I am done being nice about this. I am done doing this in my head. I am done making judgments about people I have never even talked to in my life.

My brother said another astounding thing to me the other day as well. Tony said, “People are going to look back at this time (in reference to gay marriage) and think that we are the biggest jerks like we do when we made black people sit in the back of the bus.” WOW! I never looked at it this way. He is totally right. People who are different than us or people that are minorities get picked on or treated differently because it’s not like us? I can’t even read/watch ‘The Help” because it makes me so sick to see how people were treated. Aren’t we just doing the same thing in the cyber world? When did this become okay? I am done with it. Are you?